With Burnout Paradise being added to Xbox Games With Gold in December, now seems as good a time as ever to look at the very bad lessons the Burnout series has been teaching us since its first appearance. Frankly the driving lessons from this series are genuinely criminal, so let’s break down just how serious they would be in the real world.
Traffic Light offences
You don’t win races by observing the rules of the road and that means you’re often committing every driving offense in the book during your time with Burnout. But when that timer is ticking away, when a checkpoint is in sight, the last thing you have time for is stopping for a red light. In Burnout, Green means Go; Yellow means Keep Going and Red means Go Even Faster.
Prison: N/A | Fine: £1,000 | Penalty Points: 3
Violating speed restrictions
Burnout is all about driving fast, real fast. In fact, if you don’t drive fast you’ll probably fail out of a race before you’ve had a chance to complete a single lap. With a 70mph restriction attached to most motorways, that just isn’t going to cut it. Burnout teaches you that speeding is the key to success, but taking the advice into the real world can leave you in hot water with the traffic cops.
Prison: N/A| Fine: £1,000-£2,500 | Penalty Points: 3-6
Driving without insurance
Do you remember that part at the start of Burnout where you have to go and get a loan and then slump it down to trader to buy insurance for your fancy new super car? No, well then, that’s probably because Burnout doesn’t care whether you have insurance or not. That’s bad practice: it doesn’t matter whether you are out for a Sunday drive or re-creating Tokyo Drift in your local car park, always get insurance.
Prison: N/A| Fine: £5,000 | Penalty Points: 3-6
Violating licence rules
Just because you’ve got yourself a license to drive a vehicle doesn’t give you license to run wild on the roads. Yes, it’ll let you drive to the beach and get down to the shops it will not give you permission to engage in illegal street races. This is actually a crime in itself, ‘driving otherwise than in accordance with a licence’. If you can afford the super car you can probably afford the fine, but the points always hurt.
Prison: N/A | Fine: £1,000 | Penalty Points: 3-6
Failing to stop after an accident
Do you know what’s awesome in Burnout? Crashing. You smash into a vehicle at speed and you’re treated to a glory shot replaying the accident in slow motion from a cinematic angle, teaching you once and for all that crashing your vehicle always looks cool. But you never stop to report it, you speed straight off in pursuit of the next checkpoint; that’s no way to act on the real streets.
Prison: 6 months | Fine: £5,000 | Penalty Points: 5-10
Careless or inconsiderate driving
While you’re often driving with deft precision in Burnout, it rarely observes the rules of road. Between all the drifting, mounting the pavement and speeding it could be reasonably suggested that everything you do in Burnout could be considered both careless and inconsiderate. If you’re looking to set a high-score, this is necessary; if you’re looking to avoid a hefty fine and a few points, it is not advised.
Prison: N/A | Fine: £5,000 | Penalty Points: 3-9
Engaging in dangerous driving
Burnout is all about danger. It’s about feeding your need for speed and proving that you are the road king, building up your boost bar by driving on the wrong side of the road, storming through intersections, purposefully near-missing other vehicles and generally being a nuisance. Just an FYI, this is not looked upon kindly by UK driving laws and will land you in a ton of trouble – hope you like prison!
Prison: 2 years | Fine: £Unlimited | Penalty Points: 3-11
Causing death by dangerous driving
Look, if you T-bone a hatchback at 200mph, smiling gleefully as you study the crash cam, watching as the other vehicle careers off into the distance – there are going to be consequences. Deadly consequences; you’ve most likely murdered the driver. Now, not only have you dropped positions in the race, but you’re also looking at 12 years in jail. As it turns out, Burnout is not a very good teaching tool for young drivers.
Prison: 12 years | Fine: £Unlimited | Penalty Points: 3-11
Burnout 3 was famously one of only a few games to ever get 10/10 in games™. Find out what the others are in our Perfect 10 special issue
